Completion - and guilt (warning: honesty rush)

I have great news! On 28th June, I finished the second volume of Successors of Time! I'm very happy and have resumed revision of the 1st volume, though it's been on and off since then.

When I get home from work, I usually feel exhausted and the last thing I want to do is to pick up the red pen and read through all that I've written 2,5 years ago and fix it. But when I do get to do it, somehow, I feel better. I guess it's one of those obligations that you try to avoid, but can't, and end up enjoying it in the end. Like training.

I think I should try to concentrate on editing and writing every day, at least a little bit. Maybe I can train for November this way? Plus, there're so many stories I've left half-finished and still want to finish and I just don't know how to juggle them. I didn't know how to juggle all those when I was out of job for 1,5 years and now that I've a full-time job, I'm at a loss as how to balance everything. And I feel guilty.

Today, I remembered to log in to a particular google account of mine which I haven't used in... gosh, well, after swimming through endless e-mails, I realised it's been almost 6 months. This is an e-mail address I used to check every couple of hours 'back in the day'. I moved on from those days, but some things -which are still dear to me- remain and... well, if you log in... say, every week to an unused account, you probably get an e-mail or two in a month maybe a review of one of your stories every couple of months and it's nice, but when you remember when you had several of these in only a day 'back then', you can't help feeling sad. Then you also remember that 'back then' you updated these stories several times a week. So, of course you'd get that much feedback after awhile.

And now you feel guilt. And if you get to continue those old stories and update them, you wait in nervous anticipation, an unpleasant feel in the pit of your stomach - would they still like it? Would they leave a short message? Will those be happy that I've updated or angry that I've abandoned them for so long?

I need a plan. Actually, I need several plans and try which one of them works, so I can concentrate on my original stories (their revision and writing), and on finishing my old pieces of fanfics (writing and then I think they'd need at least a mild editing before I'm OK with them - of course I edit before I publish them, but there're usually nasty mistakes that go unnoticed by me, the writer, because, you know, I've written it and know what I wanted to write and sometimes read what I wanted to write, not what I wrote).

And I need a new notebook so that I can keep track of these plans of mine.

So, you see. I want to concentrate on my writing career - which means focusing on my original pieces rather than old fanfics. But I don't like disappointing people, I don't like abandoning projects halfway - I like finishing things I started. Plus, I imagine my old readers want to read my stories. That's why I still get those messages every Blue Moon. Maybe they'd be even interested in the new (original) ones? They certainly deserve to know how my stories will end.

But how the heck do I juggle full-time day job with my originals and fanfics? Or even with just writing? It took me 8 months to write a fragment of what I wrote for NaNoWriMo in a month. 8. frickin'. months.

How do you juggle all these things? It's very hard to find the balance...

(Don't suggest coffee, please, I can't drink it.)

Knowing your habits / nature

There are plenty of posts about sticking to one project till the end, before starting a new. And that you should have perseverance and it will get you nowhere if you just jump around projects, whenever you feel like it. You should do this. You should do that. Because that's how it works for me, so it should work for you, too.

Right?

No way. Everyone's different (which is a good thing, otherwise, this planet would be a really boring place to be), with different tempers, with different priorities and with different habits. What works for one, not neccessarily work for another.

It's been a long time since I've ignored all other projects in favour of one and been stuck with it for months. I was 13-14 at the time, the very beginning of discovering the art of writing and with different circumstances.

But during the years, I've changed and developed my writing style, my habits, etc. And I realized my relation to writing is reflected in my other habits. For example, running. At first, I start with a sudden burst of speed, then slow down, almost walking when I'm tired. I don't stop. Then, when I gathered some energy, I put on another burst of speed. Then slow down again. And so on, until I get to the goalline. Meanwhile, giving myself mental pep-talks.

I've noticed the same in my writing habits: some days, I write tons of words. Other days, I only write a few, or nothing, at all (I mean, related to my writing-projects - I don't count e-mails and replies and such in this). Then I write tons, again. I've been working to try to go at a steady pace, but it's just not in my nature. And if it's against one's nature, it's bound not to work as effectively as the other method, which might not be the most 'effective' in the eyes of others, but it is true to one's nature, and so, easier to adapt.

And recently, I've realized, this unfrequent habit of mine can also be found in what I write. Oh, don't get me wrong; I usually stay in the same genre, as I've learnt it early that if I write something outside of that, it just makes me suffer. I mean, it's hard for me to stick to one project and ignore all other ideas I had in my head, until I finish the current one.

I've tried. I've done NaNoWriMo thrice so far, and that's when I've picked up the habit of sketching down other ideas that may come to me during November and put it in a folder, together with other ideas, for later and that helped on concentrating my NaNovel.

BUT. The last few months (since I've started ROW80 in January) made me realize that I still can't just shrug off my habit of working on several piece at the same time. And I jump around from project to project when I reach a certain amount of words in one. I don't know why, but it isn't necessarily a bad thing, because when I do finish my WIP, I'll finish with another soon and maybe a third one, too.
So unpredictable habits can have a positive side-effect.

With this, I kindly thank you November and let it be the only month I focus on one project for more than 50k words at once. In the rest of the year, I'll just stick to my own writing habits :)


PS.: I've started this post in the middle of June and finished it today. Brilliant representation of my writing habits, no? :'D

Do you try to stick to the 'guidelines' other people think is the 'best way'? (Whether it be writing or anything else.) Or do you enjoy it more when you just do your own thing? What are your experiences?

Publishing in Hungary

As I mentioned in my last post, we discussed this topic after the memoirs and even though I knew it works differently here than there, I came upon a few surprising facts.

First of all, we have Literary Agencies, too, but they don't represent Hungarian authors. My initial question was: 'Then what the heck do they do?' I just learnt that they are the connection between foreign publishers and Hungarian publishing houses.

The other comes from the fact above: writers who'd like to publish their books, go straight to publishers. They pitch their projects to them and if they don't like it, then Writer goes to another publisher. Then another... and another... And when they finally found the perfect match and it comes to signing contracts, well, there's noone to ask advice from, regarding the agreement.
How much advance is normal? What about royalties? If I want to have any say in (for example) the cover, will they change their mind about publishing my book? Will I see the MS after the editor goes through it? Can I have any say about the changes? - And these are only a few questions Writer have to solve on their own.

After these concerns are out of the way and you both signed a contract, then it's usually about 1/2 year or a year before the book is published.
1st: editors edit
2nd: proof-reader goes through the text (this is more strict, looking for grammar mistakes, typos, double meanings, etc.)

What I really couldn't get out of my mind was when the teacher said she works for a publisher and she told us some questions they ask when interviewing new writers. One of them was this: 'How many times did you read your book?'

She said if the answer went on like this: 'I read it, then edited, then got a few friends to read it, too, then edited again...' Then there's a high chance they won't accept the MS. Why? Because they think the words aren't as sincere as in the first or second draft.

For the record, I don't know whether this applies to other publishers in Hungary or not, but I almost asked which one does she work for.

So, you see I discovered another difference! This kept me thinking for awhile, though. But because in the end, I'll always be a maximalist and can't be someone else, whether a publisher likes it or not, I'll be perfecting my MS.

Any thoughts on this topic?